The Back Story Job
by Rosabelle Meave Sterling
Summary: Cassara Holmes grew up with Eliot Spencer and saw how his life progressed. She falls in love with him and tries her best to keep her life normal, the only problem her dad doesn't approve and she's starting to like Eliot's best friend. EliotxOC R
1. Chapter1: An Intro to Cassara Holmes

Hey Y'all! My Name's Cassara Holmes. I'm from the Midwest and I'm a high school gymnast, the best in my state. I go to high school with the famed Eliot Spencer, quarterback for the high school football team and hottest guy on campus. We grew up together, but weren't really close. My dad isn't the nicest but I have a life here. No one my age knows my secret, the only one who does… My old baby-sitter. But she keeps my secret safe and I trust her. Well, let's go ahead and let me go ahead and show you my story along with someone elses…


	2. Chapter 2

_I still can't believe I'm actually doing this. Tutoring the star quarterback for biology, why it couldn't have been anyone else I'll never understand. _I think to myself as I walk down the street to the city library. _I've never even been to a game and he isn't even in my class. I've got a busy schedule as it is without him needing tutoring. _I sigh as I step onto the stairs leading to the library entrance._ Well, he is sort of becoming a friend. Why he doesn't just talk to me in school I guess I won't know. Maybe it's because I'm tutoring him and he doesn't want anyone to know I'm his tutor. Or maybe it's because of something else. All I know is for the past three months I've been tutoring him and he's still failing. What am I doing wrong?_ I hear a group of people behind me laughing and carrying on.

"Spencer, you still have to be tutored? I thought you would have had the entire school in the palm of your hand by now Mr. Star QB," a boy yells.

"I thought so too Jason but Mr. Edmins doesn't think that way," another one calls back.

I walk on into the library and over to the librarian at the counter. I set my books on the counter and say, "Mrs. Commings I'm here to tutor someone that I've been tutoring for a while at school. But the library there doesn't have as good references. If someone comes asking for me please send them up to my study area."

"Of course dear I will. Oh and thank you for the wonderful cake. It was delicious and the family loved it," Mrs. Commings replied in her motherly tone.

"You're welcome ma'am. If you want anything else made let me know all right?"

"I will do, now go on and set up shop," Mrs. Commings says to me nudging my books to me.

"Thanks Mrs. C. I'll see you soon." I smile, take my books, and walk towards the stairs in the middle of the library. The oak handrails were well worn from oils of the hands of patrons carrying books up and down the green carpeted steps. The carpet well worn and faded needed replacing for it was fraying along the edge. As I ascended the stairs I noticed the holes worn in the carpet, mostly created by myself.

I reached the landing and walked over to the room in the middle of the right hand wall. I open the door and smell the scent of my body wash and lotion; showing how much time I spend here when I have free time. I walk over to the cushioned chair I sit in during all of my free time, as little as that is but it's much better than going home. I tug on my sleeves to cover my arms. I scatter my text and notebooks across the table so as to give references like always. This table was a lot bigger than the small round tables we have at the school library. I'm glad they had inventory going on this week so I could tutor here.

I lay my head down on the table so I could wait. My mahogany hair covers my face from its ponytail. I wait for what seems like hours before I hear the door open to my study. I hear Mrs. Commings say, "There you go Mr. Spencer. This is the room. Oh dear, honey are you awake?"

I lift my head up and look at the kindly woman. I wipe my hands down my face to rejuvenate my eyes and wake me up. I look at Mrs. Commings and say, "Yes, I'm fine. I didn't sleep well last night. Don't worry about me. Is Spencer here?"

"Yes he is dear and you look like you have a hard job here. Good luck dear," Mrs. Commings leaves the doorway and ushers in a boy wearing a football jacket, jeans, and white tee-shirt. His eyes were like ice blue sapphires, his hair a chocolate brown cut short for football.

"How are you Holmes?" the boy asks.

"I've been better Spencer. Now we've been meeting together for months for me to tutor you, and you still call me by my last name. By the way, are you passing biology yet?"

"Yes I'm passing, but I don't understand what we are going over in class. I'm only passing because you keep tutoring me," Spencer says.

"Look, if you're passing I can't tutor you. I'm only supposed to tutor you if you're failing, Spencer. I'm giving up my free time to do this for you. I could be sleeping, or training, or even… Never mind. What would you care? You're the 'Jock- Wonder'," I reply coldly.

He looks at me in shock with his jaw hanging open a bit and eyes wide. I look at him, smirk, and say, "I'd have guessed you've never had a girl talk like that to you before me and yet you still haven't gotten used to it. Well let's get started with identifying types of bacteria."

I open up my text book to the chapter in question. Spencer had opened up his note book to a blank sheet of paper and had a pencil in his hand. I watch the sudden transformation before my eyes and smile. I start teaching and he takes notes. I give him everything I know on the chapters in question for the test he'll be given on the material. My watch goes off as an alarm telling me to get myself to the gym for travel to the competition. I silence the watch; look at Spencer and say, "I have to go. Your test is tomorrow. Meet me in the courtyard after school and tell me how you did. I'll talk to your teacher and see what I can do about getting your test grade quicker. It's been nice."

I get up stack up my books and leave them in the corner of the table, grab my bag, and bolt out of the room. I run down the stairs skipping a few and almost falling on my face. Reaching the bottom of the stairs I race out the front door, down the white stone stairs and onto the street. I sprinted down the sidewalk turning where I needed to get to the gym. Reaching the corner I saw the gym in sight. I bolted down the street where a bus was waiting to take the team to the competition. I burst through the large wooden doors leading into the gym and rush over to my team. The coach looks at me, smiles, and says, "I thought you wouldn't make it. The session ran late?"

"Sorry Coach Miles he's not used to actually working. I'm not really late am I?" I ask her only slightly out of breath. She puts her arm around my shoulders and replies, "No dear, you're not really late. You need to go get into your leo."

I walk into the girl's locker room and set my things out on the bench. I grab my leotard and head to the bathroom area. I step into a stall and close the door so I won't have to explain anything. I quickly strip to my under garments and step into my leo. I pull it up over my arms and situate it into the correct places. I pull on my sweatpants and team jacket, pick up my scattered clothes, open the door and walk to my bag. I put everything in the bag, move the music to the front pocket, and sit down to put on my shoes. Standing up I realize that I wasn't very polite to Eliot during that tutoring session. It's not his fault what goes on in my life. I shake my head thinking of how I could apologize to him, if I ever see him again.


	3. Chapter 3

I walk out to the bus and sit in the front seat behind the driver. I have a small pillow and blanket tucked in my bag for the trips to and from the competition because it takes so long and well, I didn't sleep well. Coach Miles knows I bring it with me but she also knows a bit about my living considering she used to date my dad after mom and he separated. Coach Miles sits in the seat across from me and hands me a book. I take it from her, look at it, and then look at her confused. She leans across the aisle and says, "It'll put you to sleep and it's educational."

I smile at her and start reading. My mind processes the words as my eyes scan across the pages. Pictures form the storyline in my mind in vivid color. Slowly I feel my eyes close and my mind goes dark embracing the wonders of sleep.

"Cassie, Cassie, wake up dear. We're here at the competition," Coach Miles says shaking me slightly to wake me.

I gasp in shock and my eyes open wide as I jerk awake. Coach Miles grabs my shoulders and looks me in the eyes so as to say, "You're not home." I look at her and smile. She takes my bag and grabs my arm to lead me down the stairs on the bus. Coach Cindy Miles is an amazing person. She's the sweetest woman you'll meet and the harshest when you go out of line too many times. Coach Miles takes care of me like a mom when we aren't at school or at competitions.

The team walks into the building, gets registered and checked in. I take out my wallet and buy a caffeinated soda, to wake me up even more, from a vending stand. We walk into the gym which has been matted and given extra things like the bars, beam, vault, and a gymnastics floor. Tables are placed alongside each of the events for the judges. We walk to our area where we can put out bags and such down. Looking around I see around nine other teams of girls, one from each gymnastics trainer in the district. The teams line up for the entrance in for the introduction and we walk on into the gym.

After every pomp and circumstance is done we start the competition. Each girl on our team is good at one event except for me. I'm the wild card that can throw a wrench into any teams best laid plans. I'm the all around gymnast. We are all trained in every area only we find ones that we are exceptionally good at; Eve is vault, Lydia is uneven bars, Denise is beam, Katie is floor. I am the best on my team at every event. The competition started and my team was put on beam first. The rotation is Katie, Lydia, Denise, Eve, and then me.

We each did our routines and got pretty good scores. We then moved onto vault, then to uneven bars, and finally to floor. With each event we had good scores and were leading the competition. I watch Denise's routine on floor and notice someone out of the corner of my eye. I look in the stands and notice someone much unexpected was standing there watching the floor routines. I walk to Coach Miles and get ready for my routine after Eve. I take off my sweat pants, that I put on after every event is finished because I get cold, and situate my team leo. The schools colors are red, gold, white, and black and each color is somewhere in our leotards. Since we all went to the same school we chose the colors to represent us and the school would not allow a gymnastics team since the sport is considered "dangerous" and "potentially fatal". The majority of the leotard is red, with designs in white, black, and gold. I tighten my ponytail and apply the "Tuff Skin" again to make sure my leo won't ride up.

I told myself I was just imagining the person. So I prepare to do my routine by putting the chalk powder on my feet to help me stick my landings. I walk onto the nearest corner of the floor to start my routine. The music starts and as I hear the notes every feeling that I had when choreographing this flood back to me. I dance out onto the floor and follow every component necessary to get the fullest score. I don't think about my routine just the emotions and the song. When the song ends my routine ends with it. I smile and walk away to my team to await my scores. I got the highest score of the competition. My team jumps up and down hugging me. We get our medals and trophies then pack up and head to the bus. Everyone else is hyped up because of our win, I'm just exhausted from being awake for so long.

I fall asleep on the bus and wait for the bus to arrive at the school. I know my dad would be waiting at the school to pick me up and take me home. I'm afraid of what will happen when I get there. I made dinner for him this morning before I left for school like I did every morning when I had a competition. I hope he found it and that he'll just pick me up and let me sleep. I only get around four hours of sleep a night normally. This was like a godsend.

When the bus stops I wake, grab my bag, and get off the bus. I see a light blue Ford truck and I knew it was my father. He steps out of the cab, walks over to me, jerks my bag off my shoulder and gently pushes me towards the truck. I open the door and sit in the truck, and buckle myself in. My dad gets in the car and we head home.

"You did well tonight Cassie. You got the gold," he says to me, stroking my cheek.

"Thank you dad. I'm glad you're proud," I reply.

I could smell the alcohol in the truck and on him. He'd been at the bar last night and earlier he'd been in the bottle today. He never went to work when he was like this so I know he's been drinking the entire day. We pull into the driveway and I get out of the truck. I drag my feet getting into the house. My father grabs my arm and pulls me into the office. I'm too tired to cry or do anything tonight so I let him do what he wanted.


	4. Chapter 4

My alarm goes off to wake me up in the morning. I roll over, turn it off, and get out of bed. I look at the clock and panic out of my skin. It's six o'clock in the morning. I wasted three hours when I could have been cooking dinner for my dad. On my door there is a note telling me we would order pizza tonight. So I go ahead and get ready for school.

As I walk to school I get really worried. Dad never orders pizza unless he's tired, and then when he's tired I normally end up paying for it in the end. I clutch my books closer to me for a feeling of security. I step down the sidewalk and hear a voice calling me.

"Holmes! Holmes, wait up!"

I look around and see Spencer running up to me. He stops just short of me carrying the books I left at the library in a bag. He hands the bag to me and says, "You sure left in a hurry yesterday. I was wondering if you could refresh my memory on a few things."

"You had my books and you didn't utilize them did you?" I ask him, taking the bag.

He scratches his head and says, "I don't like text books. I'm the-"

"Star quarterback, I know. Now here," I finish opening the biology text book. I pull out a sheet of paper with a condensed version of everything we went over in the past few tutoring sessions. "There is everything you'll need to know. Study it well before your test. Mr. Edmins will collect that paper from you before the test starts. This is one of the harder tests you'll take besides your midterm and final. Those two tests are the only other times I'll make this type of sheet for you."

He takes it, looks at me and says, "You did really well last night."

I freeze for a minute, look at him and say, "Excuse me? What did you just say?"

"I said you did really well last night. That routine you did was amazing," he replies looking down at his shoes. I could tell he was shy talking about this stuff considering gymnastics was a "girly sport" and he was "Mr. Macho Football Quarterback guy".

"Thanks Spencer, it was really nice of you to come," I reply sweetly.

"It's no problem Cassie. I wanted to see why you leave and I found out. You are seriously like a pretzel in the way you can twist and bend and stuff."

"Yeah I am aren't I?" I laugh. I look into his blue eyes and suddenly start to blush. I quickly look away and down to my shoes. "We should get to school." I say quietly.

"Yeah I guess we should," Spencer replies, sounding down trodden all of the sudden.

We look at each other and start to go our separate ways into school. My first class was biology and his was English. I walk into the school and notice the cliques of students gathering together in the commons area. You had the cheerleaders and their athlete boyfriends in one area, the hippies near the windows, the freaks huddled in the farthest corner, the nerds grouped farthest away from the jocks and cheerleaders, the Goths were standing between the freaks and the hippies since they were the collaboration of both with just a really gloomy outlook on life, and finally you had the drifters. The drifters don't really belong to certain cliques. They are just that versatile to fit into any clique they wanted except the jock and cheerleader clique. I could be a drifter between the nerds and athletes but I prefer to stay with the nerds. Sure the cheerleaders were popular but if you hung around with them, any girl was then labeled a hussy and tramp. I stick with my nerd friends and not labeled anything, only a geek, and being labeled that, I don't mind.

I walk over to my friends and say, "Hey Sally how is English?"

"I'm surviving. I'll never understand Shakespeare though," she replies glumly.

"How's the bookworm doing in her classes?" Zeke asks me.

"I'm doing very well thank you very little. The assistant principal is thinking about letting me graduate early, but I don't think I want to do that. I'll just take electives Senior year and get early release or something," I reply. We all laugh and the first bell rings to let us know we have ten minutes to get to our classrooms. I walk to my locker, enter in the combination, and put my extra books inside.

"Hey Holmes," a voice says coolly to my right.

"What do you want Chris?" I reply exasperated.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go and see a movie at the theater tonight?" he asks me, trying to sound all cool and suave like Elvis or someone, fixing his letterman's jacket.

"Chris, I don't want to and I can't. I have no free time. I'm rehearsing, working out, cooking, studying, or tutoring. So will you give it a rest please? I hate doing this every week. I'm not going to change my mind," I say slamming my locker shut.

"Look," he says to me pushing me against the lockers. "You will go out with me one day. Since you have no boyfriend who's going to stop me from taking you out and then doing what I want?"

I cringe at the thought and wish I had accepted one of the other guys who had asked me out. Chris leans into me so our noses are barely centimeters away from one another. "You will be mine Holmes," he says quietly. He lets go of me and walks to his football buddies. I look over and see Spencer watching me with a concerned look on his face. I smile at him and brush myself off so as to alleviate any questions. I brush past him and he grabs my hand slightly, letting it glide through his as I pass by. I blush, smile to myself, and keep walking. I reach my homeroom, sit down, and get ready for the announcements. They come on over the intercom and everyone quiets down as the administrator talks. I space out because I have no need for the announcements, I don't see the point. The bell rings and we all get up to go to first period. As I walk out people from homeroom pat me on the shoulder saying, "Congratulations Cassie!", "Way to rule!", "You're awesome!"

I smile and walk into biology. Mary, one of my good friends sits down next to me like always, hands me a note, and says, "I don't know who this is from but I was told you'll know when you read it."

I take it, unfold it, and read:

Cassie,

I'm glad I got to see you last night. These people don't even know the half of how awesome you did. Listen, I saw Chris with you earlier and I wondered if you wanted me to help you out. I can try my best to make him leave you alone but I can't promise that he will. And I was also wondering if you wanted to go to lunch or dinner after school since you don't need to tutor me today. You can answer this by either meeting me at the library or just walking by.

'Jock-Wonder'

I blush a bit, fold the note, and put it in my pocket. Ms. Leeds gives me my test and I start. My pencil glides across the paper as I scan the questions and circle the answers. I read the terms and flash back to the tutoring sessions with Eliot. Each term makes me think of a session and makes me laugh because of the scenarios we got ourselves into. Trying to explain genetics and heredity was funny. We did the project of "create your baby" and handed a copy into each of our teachers. We named it, gave it a personality, and gave it our genes and everything. We had fun flipping the coin and such.

I smile to myself jumping back into reality and finishing my test. I reread every question and recheck my answers with time left to spare. I put my test into the box on the teacher's desk and return to my seat where I pull out a book and read. The bell rings and I head off to my next class, history. Arriving at my history class I pull out my text book and read the chapter we would be studying. The classroom starts filling up with people and soon the lesson starts. I blank out and still take notes on the content of the lesson. I can't help but think of how Eliot is doing on his exam this period.


	5. Chapter 5

A few more months go by and I can't help but feel like Eliot and I have become something. He's coming over to my house when my dad isn't home and I go over to his house whenever he's alone. He hasn't been with Aimee for these past months and always takes me places. He tells me what he's thinking and asks my advice. After seeing him at my competitions, I had to come see his football games. I went and would always make sure he saw me. Eliot would always come meet me at the corner at the end of my street. We'd walk to the park and we'd lay in the grass and talk. I'd tell him about the stars, quiz him on biology, and we'd talk about everything. He leaves notes in my locker but still doesn't talk to me so I guess I shouldn't be thinking what I am, but I just can't help it. I know I probably shouldn't think that there's anything between Eliot and I but there's just this feeling between us no matter the differences. Plus, there's the added fact of Aimee. Even though she isn't with him, she still hates me. We were once best friends, but once we hit middle school, I was no longer cool enough.

I walk through the school having finished my exam early and waiting for my next one. Eliot was in his biology exam and I can't help but worry. I've helped him study for the final for two weeks every day after school and on the trips to competitions. I walk outside and sit in the courtyard on a bench close to the doors. The sun felt good on my face and made me warm under my long-sleeved shirt. I lean my head back, close my eyes and let the sun warm my face. I hear footsteps coming towards me from the school and the gait sounds long and heavy, male.

"Hey Cassie," the familiar, mildly southern accented voice says to me.

"Hey Eliot, how'd you do on your exam?" I reply smiling.

"I think I did well, I'm a little nervous that I finished as early as I did. But I know it's because you drilled the information into my head. I'm really glad you helped me study. Maybe we can hang out later, at 'Johnny Rocket's'?" He says hopefully.

"Sure, that sounds good to me. But I have a concert tonight. Can we meet after? Oh, I do have one question," I reply to him.

"Anything Cassie, you can always ask me anything," he states, sitting down next to me and draping his arm around me.

"Why don't you talk to me while we are at school? I mean, we're the best of friends and connect so well outside of school, and when we're here I see a totally different you. You're just like the other jocks I see walking around when you're here and with them. I'm getting really confused as to who you really are and… other things," I say looking him in the eyes and moving his arm off of me.

"Cassie, you haven't had a problem before this. What's gotten to you now?"

"I've always had a problem with it Eliot, I just couldn't tell you. I was afraid-"

"Don't say that you're afraid of me," Eliot says harshly to me as he stands up.

I grimace a bit and look away from him. I start to feel myself falling, sinking into the hole that I would always get with my dad. My eyes water with tears from fear and hurt. I stand up and walk away quickly, tears sliding down my face and shimmering as they hit the cement of the path into the school. I make sure I got away from Eliot quickly that way he couldn't grab me and I'd openly start crying. I run to the chorus room, open up a practice room, sit in a corner and cry. My next exam was in here so I didn't have to worry about being late. The lights were off so I sat in the dark and didn't worry about anyone saying anything to me since they couldn't see me.

Our exam in chorus was to get ready for our concert tonight. We had a written part, a rehearsal part, and then our concert tonight. Mary and Sally walk into the chorus room and find me not sitting in my normal seat. They walk around calling my name almost knowing that I'm in here. They walk past the practice room and hear me crying. They walk in, turn on the lights, and run to me, ready to comfort me at any time. They hug me and let me cry asking me what happened and who did it.

"Melinda, we're in here. Bring tissues!" Sally says as someone passes by.

"Ok, I've got 'em," Melinda says, entering the practice room. Melinda then sits in front of me and hands me a tissue.

"What happened dear?" Mary asks me.

"It's just all the stress from finals and gymnastics stuff," I reply sniffling.

"Oh Cassie, it's tough on all of us. But I guess since you're in advanced classes, tutorin' like the most popular boy in the entire school has to be really stressful," Melinda replies brainlessly.

"Mel, I know you're tryin' to help, but that wasn't a good effort. We need sweet and kind things that reassure her that we care. Not things that make her want to cry more from embarrassment, stress and anxiety," Sally whispers with intensity.

"Well, it's the truth Sal," Melinda says, twirling her strawberry blonde hair.

"It's ok Sally, Melinda's right. It's the stress from tutoring him and worryin' about everythin' that goes with it," I say, taking a tissue from Melinda.

"Ok, well how about we go out and take the exam. Then we'll go out for a lunch or dinner thing ok?" Mary says to me, wiping tears away and applying a bit of make up to cover the tear stains.

"That sounds good to me, but can we do it tomorrow? You know concert and all tonight." I say smiling and standing up. Mary picks up my books, grabs my arm and leads me out into the chorus room. We walk over to the risers and take our usual positions to listen to our director Dr. Marks. He hands out a packet for our written portion of the exam. He tells us we have thirty minutes to finish this portion of the exam and walks away. We pick up our pencils, binders, and start to work. Scanning over the questions I write the answers that come naturally to me. I flip through the packet, reading, writing, thinking, and composing finally finishing every question. I stand up and put my packet on the podium and return to my friends. The rest of the class finish their packets and wait for rehearsal to start. Dr. Marks comes out, collects the papers from the podium, takes them to his office, returns and takes his seat at the piano. We all gather around and as he plays scales on the piano we warm up with our vocal exercises.

After our exercises we get in our positions on the risers and prepare to sing our repertoire. We run through the songs and practice getting on and off stage. Dr. Marks comes to me and asks, "Are you ready for tonight?"

"Yes sir, I am. Just tell me when I'm on and I'll be there."

"Good Ms. Holmes, now go on and head out. Your solos will be fine. I know it. Just don't think about anything, let your mind wander away into the music. Now let's run the song with your solo," he assures me and takes his place behind the piano.

The music starts to play and I let my mind wander. The pictures run through my mind and feelings swell inside me. They churn in my heart and seep through the cracks. I sing with my friends and colleagues letting all the emotions flow out through the song. The dark and eerie music flows around us, caressing our faces. Dr. Marks nods at me to move out in front of everyone and I take my place. I wait until I hear the measure before my entrance to let all the emotions out. The music turns sweet and light as I begin my time.

"Good night my angel, now it's time to sleep. Though you are scared of dark and night I'll always be by your side in your dreams and in your heart. Good night my angel, sleep in the wings of the clouds and in the world of light. You are my precious loving starlight, shining ever brighter. Now you know, what you mean to me, sleep. Sleep my angel, sweet dreams to you at last, sweet darling. Be happy forever more."

A single tear falls down my cheek as the last note rings in the air. Dr. Marks stands up and starts to clap wildly. Everyone else does as well and Mary, Sally, and Melinda shout along with Chris and James. Everyone hadn't heard me sing the solo with the chorus yet, and they all loved it. I smile and walk back to my place on the risers next to Sally. Dr. Marks looks at us and says, "Ladies and gentlemen I am expecting there to be tears after Ms. Holmes finishes. I'm proud of y'all. Good bye and I'll see you tonight."

The bell rings and we all grab out stuff to leave. I exit the room and walk out into the courtyard. I look over at the tables in the courtyard and see Aimee with Eliot. She sits on his lap and they were both laughing. My heart breaks a little more and I walk straight through their group so I could take the shortcut to my house. Eliot didn't even notice I was walking past because he was too busy tasting Aimee's lip-gloss. Jake, Eliot's best friend, comes over to me and says, "Hey, how are you?"

I look at him and contain my tears. "I'm nervous about tonight, but hey, it's all part of being a student right?" I reply with a touch of sarcasm.

"You should know, Eliot really-"

"I don't give a damn what he thinks. My obligation to him is over and I don't intend on doing it again." I say sharply. "Now if you will excuse me Jake," I say breathing in sharply, sensing that tears were about to flow, "I have to go home and prepare myself for the concert tonight. I hope your exams go well Jake."

"Cassie," Jake calls after me as I walk briskly away from him. People had been talking and spreading rumors about Jake. They said he liked someone who didn't even know he existed. They also said that he sent a rose to his crush on Valentine's Day and that he would threaten anyone who came near her. He seems sweet and I'm sorry that the girl never acknowledged his presence. I liked hanging around with him and Eliot. Jake seems genuinely sweet and honest and I'm glad that I met him.

Arriving home I walk into the kitchen and start working on dinner for my father. He would be home late and would miss my concert. Just like normal. I cook everything, put it on a plate, and then put the plate into the microwave. I smile at the memory of Sasha teaching me how to cook in this very kitchen. All of us kids she babysat, Eliot, Aimee, Jake, Melinda, Mary and Sally, and myself had the best time with her and we all learned something.

There's a knock at the door and I walk to open it, wondering who it could be. I look out the side windows and see a woman that I haven't seen in a few months. I open the door and reach to hug the woman I know to be Sasha Spencer.


	6. Chapter 6

"Can someone please tell me what's going on with Eliot and Aimee?" Sasha asks, flailing her arms above her head.

"Sasha, I don't know! I'm his tutor and that's it! You've known me for a while and well… you know I'm not in the 'in-crowd' of information. Mostly because I don't give a damn about the information and gossip," I explain to the older woman.

She sighs and runs her hand through her chocolate and neon red streaked hair. I watch the twenty-one year old with confusion and sadness. She was the sister I had always wanted to watch over me and help me get away from my life because of her attitude. She helped me quite more than I think she really knows. She found out about my lifestyle and well, didn't care.

"Well what the heck is going on? I mean really! You two have been friends for a few months and all and well… just," Sasha says.

"I know. What can I say? Not much that's for sure. I mean I hear things around the gym team but I gotta say, they aren't very descriptive around me. All I know is that they've been out a couple of times and I guess they went at it or something I don't know," I reply bringing my hands up like I'm surrendering. "I have no other information but that. I should know more but I don't. Mostly because," I quickly stop and put my fingers to my mouth. I had to stop before I said anything else. Sasha has always scared me. Eliot told me about her during one of our "non-study" study sessions when I saw a picture of him, his dad, and his sister. I finally met her over Christmas break but that was just a quick meeting since Eliot dragged me out of the house before I could really talk with his sister.

"Well, do you personally know anything?" Sasha asks me.

"I did see them together this afternoon. They were making out and I left. I have nothing to do with Eliot anymore. I'm done tutoring him and I'm nothing more to him than an encyclopedia," I tell her as I move to go get the water from the stove to make tea. My emotions well inside me and threaten to release.

"You're quite a lot more to him actually," Sasha says in a hushed tone.

I freeze and clench my fists and teeth. I continue making the tea for me and a cup of hot chocolate for Sasha while preparing an entire tray. I bring the tray into the living room where Sasha had moved. I set the tray with the tea pot, sugar, cream, cups and saucers, and a plate of cookies on the table. I pour the tea into my cup and put sugar and cream in mine. Handing the cup of hot chocolate to Sasha, I look out the window to try and focus my thoughts on how to reply.

"Sasha, you've been away traveling. Please don't take this the wrong way but, how would you know what I am to Eliot. I mean, we've only been friends for eight months, and we aren't really friends now that I think about it. But anyway, Eliot is happy, and that's all that matters right?"

Sasha looks at me and smiles slightly. "Cassie, he's my brother so I know. He talks to me and I listen when I have the time during my travels. You mean a lot to him. You're the first girl who hasn't thrown herself at him and it's made an impression. You're the only person who believes in him and just wants him to pass because you know he can do it. You don't care about his 'star-status' or whatever you wanna call it. Aimee is pretty and all, but she doesn't have much. And, you keep his secret about the elective. You mean a lot to him even though he may not show it. Trust me." She sips the beverage and looks at me.

"So, why can't he just tell me? I'm not going to change anything mostly because I'm not going to get in between Aimee and Eliot. Aimee has her mind set on taking Eliot and claiming him as hers and no one gets in the way. She would prefer life if I wasn't anywhere near Eliot so I won't be," I explain to her. I finish my tea and put the cup back on the tray. I stand up and say, "If you'll excuse me, I have to go and get ready for my concert tonight. You're welcome to stay, but I'll be getting dressed and such."

Sasha takes the plate of cookies and her cup and moves into my room. She sits on my bed as I make my way into the shower. I close the door and get undressed. I turn around and look in the mirror and quickly turn away, tears threatening to fall. Turning on the water I can assume that Sasha is looking around my room. I step in and start my shower. Sasha turns on my radio and listens to music.

"So, what concert is tonight?" She asks.

"It's a chorus thing. I don't think you'd like it. It's not important to anyone but me." I say loudly so she can hear me.

"Well, it's settled, you're going to get flowers," she says.

"Sasha, no- Don't do it!" I say, trying to hurry up and finish washing my face. I finish, shut off the water and get out, wrapping the towel around me. I run into my room to see Sasha standing there laughing at me. I sigh and glare at her. "That wasn't funny Sasha."

"Sure it was. It got you out here so I can do your hair," She explains.

I smile at her and go into my closet to dry off and get dressed. I put on my black underwear and bra so the stage lights won't pick up the bright white undergarments. I slip on the long, cap-sleeve, black dress. I also pick up my gloves from a rack in my closet and shoes from their box on the floor. I sit on my bed in front of the mirror while Sasha comes up behind me with my brush, comb, and a box. She starts brushing my hair and I smile.

"What's got you so happy?" She asks looking at my reflection.

"It's just nice having someone do my hair. I can't help it," I explain, blushing slightly.

"Well… I'm happy to do it whenever I'm here," she replies as she styles my hair. She opens the box and there were bobby-pins and a silken bag. She places the bobby-pins in my hair to hold it in place. She then opens the bag and places a beautiful clip in the middle of the bun she made on the back of my head. She grabs my hand mirror and holds it behind me so I can see what my hair looks like from the back. I smile and take two wispy locks at the front of my face and curl them into small, delicate curls. Sasha looks at me and smiles at the work she's done on me. I smile at her and say, "You never were much of the girly girl. But I'm glad you changed a little for me. I wouldn't play softball with you because I never understood it. Plus, I was afraid the ball would hit me or the bat would do something. I wasn't much for football or anything like that. I am a gymnast and I had fun. You even helped me with some routines and I really enjoyed it. You've given me so much and I haven't given you anything it feels. And for that I'm sorry."

Sasha looks at me and says, "Cassie, you've given me smiles and a wonderful person to visit. That's all I need from you now. But when we're both older, I'll ask a favor from you and we'll call it even. Sound all right?"

I smile at her and move to hug her. She looks at my arms and says, "He was at it again recently wasn't he?"

Retracting my arms to my sides I hang my head and reply, "Yes he was." Sasha sighs and walks to me. She embraces me gently and says, "If you ever feel really threatened you should tell Eliot. After all, he's my little brother and he'll take care of you." I step back and look her dead in the eyes.

"I tutored your brother and that was it. We used to be semi-friends but we drifted apart as my dad insisted on keeping me hidden from people. So, I have nothin' to go on here except for the fact that I enabled him to get an A in biology. Now If you'll excuse me, I've gotta get to the school and practice."

Sasha sighs and says, "You'll get there faster if I drive ya." She grabs my purse while I grab a shawl and my guitar. She looks at me with the guitar on my back and says, "I didn't know you played guitar."

"You always thought it was my dad didn't you? Well it's me. I taught myself how to play. Whenever dad wasn't drunk he'd help me out. I wrote down my feelings and changed them to music. So yeah, I play guitar," I explain to her as I step up into her huge truck. She starts the engine and we head off down the road to the school. We reach the school and I hop out of the truck, almost falling on my face from the drop to the ground. I grab my guitar, shawl, and purse out of her truck and shut the door.

"When does this thing start?" she asks me from out the window.

"In an hour. Like I said you don't have to come. You should be with Eliot since you don't get to see him all that much. Go on, I'll be fine like always," I respond smiling. Inside I feel a little mass wishing she would stay so that I'd have someone to come out to who says I've done well and means it. She laughs and says, "Well, I might be back but I'll go spend some time with Eliot. If he decides to come we'll come. If he doesn't, and I do, then I'll be here. But if he decides not to and I miss the beginning I'll decide what to do after that. Sound like a good arrangement?"

I smile even wider, giggle, and say, "Sounds good to me Sasha. Have fun!"

Without another word she drives away from where I stand and heads out of the parking lot.


	7. Chapter 7

I make my way into the school so I can head to the chorus room. Walking in I see only a few faces and wonder where Mary, Sally, and Mel are. I make my way into the largest practice room and set my stuff down. I pull out my guitar, tune it, and start to play random chords. The guitar playing always calms me down before a concert. I set the guitar down and turn to the upright piano in front of me. I start playing the song I'd be singing by myself and listen to the wonderful melody pour out of the instrument. As I move my fingers the lyrics wind through my head and I start to mouth the words. This song had only been played for one person, Dr. Marks. No one else has heard it, and for that, I'm incredibly grateful. That means that those people who will hear it tonight will be genuinely affected. As I finish the song on the piano I hear a knock on the door. Mel stands outside holding a bag of something. I let her in and she says, "How come you haven't played like that for us? I mean I didn't really hear anythin' but I know you were very emotional. So come on, what gives?"

"Mel, I didn't wanna play for everyone before tonight because I wanted it to be a surprise."

She smiles and sits in the chair next to me. She picks up the guitar and starts to pluck out a tune. I add in the piano and we just randomly play the upbeat melody. Candice comes by the room and hears us playing the random tune. She picks up her violin, opens the door and joins in. She plays the violin like any person in our town would, really fast and country. Mel and I smile and cheer her on. People walk into the chorus room and hear the three of us jamming out in our little room. Someone opens the door and the sound just pours out into the room, washing over every unsuspecting person. When everyone realizes that there's music going, they start clapping to the beat and cheer us on. We finally end our piece and hear loud shouts from outside. We have been so engulfed in our music that we didn't even realize that the door had been opened. Candice, Mel, and I smile, laugh, and blush at the applause and our own obliviousness.

Dr. Marks walks out and starts getting us all ready. Candice shuts the door so I can put my guitar away and not have people come in and ask for more jam sessions. Mel looks at our violinist and says, "I thought you weren't supposed to be here until later. You're only here for the one song right?"

Candice smiles and says, "Yeah I am only here for that one song. But I love listenin' to y'all sing. I wish I could join in, but I'm not any good." Her face falls as she tucks her violin under her arm.

"Candice, think of it this way," I chime in. "If you were singin' with us, you wouldn't be able to play your violin. You'd be singin' with the choir. I know how much you live playin' the violin and you'd have to give it up to sing with us. And plus, you're the best in the school which is why we asked you to play with us. So, cheer up dear. Everything happens for some reason or another."

She smiles and hugs me gently. I hug her back and Mel joins us. When we let go I slip on my black gloves and we head out into the room. Dr. Marks has the mixed choir singing their songs and they sound good, but not as good as we do. The elite choir was a choir of all girls because, that's the gender that mostly signs up for choir. Finally it's our turn to sing in front of the group. We stand on the risers and get ready to sing. Mrs. Creighton plays the piano for us when we have an accompanied piece. We reach the song where Candice plays the violin and she plays it wonderfully. Everyone applauds her as she takes a bow. We don't run through the songs entirely except the one with Candice.

Finally it's time to go on stage. The mixed choir goes out first while all the rest of us stay in our room. Mel, Sally, and Mary sit with me and we talk about everything.

"You know there's a rumor that Aimee and Eliot are going out again. But then, there are some people saying that they keep seeing someone else with Eliot. They know it's someone on the gymnastics team so he must be happy. Am I right?" Mary says with her tone almost icy.

"You're on the gymnastics team Cas, who's Eliot with?" Sally asks me.

"He isn't with anyone. It's something he decided to do. He joins us on our trips to competitions but he isn't with any of us that I know of. But you know I keep to myself. And honestly I don't care," I respond, not stopping my embroidery. I look at the blanket and smile at the progress I had done. The baby pink, blue, and lavender go well together along with the green. The flowers look so real that I just wish I could find a way to infuse a scent into the string so it would be a real scene. We sit for the thirty minutes while the choir finishes their songs. Someone goes and tells us our cue to line up. I place my embroidery in my purse and start to line up. We get on the risers and then file off into our starting line. We walk out the doors and head to the stage entrance. As the mixed choir finishes and starts departing the stage we get ready to enter the lights.

Dr. Marks walks to us and motions us forward and we break the curtain with elegance and poise, taking command of the stage and the audience's attention. Dr. Marks walks out after us and he starts our music. Mrs. Creighton follows him and so do we. The words fall off our lips like water, because they have been memorized and drilled into us. Our moods change with each song we sing. Finally our second to last song starts. Candice stands in front of the piano and draws her bow across the strings creating a lovely sound. Our voices add a new level of tone onto her beautiful tune and soon the audience is mesmerized by the sounds produced. As the song ends our notes fade into a quiet murmur. The audience erupts into applause and Candice takes a bow. Our last song chorus of the night starts and my solo rumbles in my stomach. I move toward the mic when I am motioned to do so. I compose myself and let the words fall out in time and rhythm to the melody. The words whirl my mind and the sea of emotion calms in my heart. As the last note rings from my mouth the auditorium echoes it slightly. After a moment of silence the audience applauses once more and I take my bow.

The choir then steps off the stage and into their seats that were marked off in the house. Mrs. Creighton steps away from the piano as I walk to it. The nerves well up again as I sit on the stool. Looking at the ebony and ivory keys I feel a small sense of calm rise from them. Dr. Marks takes the microphone and introduces me to everyone saying that I was chosen to close the show because of the dedication to my work and the talent that has been pent up inside me.

With that being said I start pressing the keys to the intro of the song I was to perform. The memories and emotions that went into writing this song well up inside and I let them all go.

"We're together but for how long? People pull us apart and we ourselves tear each other down. You say goodbye and but I can't let you go.

So we could stay together I would sell my heart. I look around as the auctioneer cries 'Sold!' The highest bidder I dread but now as I look into his face it's you.

You've moved on, but for how long? You say she's fun but does she hold your heart and you hold hers? You say goodbye and I just let you go.

So we could stay together I would sell my heart. I look around as the auctioneer cries 'Sold!' The highest bidder I dread, but now as I look into his face it's you.

You turn around and look at me all apologetically. You run to me and kiss my eyes to dry away the tears. You say you're back and that I'm yours but how can I believe you? I loved you once and you broke my heart. Broke my heart.

We're together but for how long? People say we're perfect for the other one and it may be true. But for now life moves on."

I strike the keys and finish the song reeling. The keys feel worn under my fingers and I smile at the fact that I could actually do this. As the last note hangs in the air I wait for someone to do something. I see someone stand up and start applauding. Soon everyone followed suit. Mel, Candice, Dr. Marks, Sally, and the entire choir stands and hollers at me. I smile, stand up from the bench and take a bow. Dr. Marks walks forward and says to the audience, "I wish you all a good night and a safe and happy summer."

I walk out of the auditorium and into the commons. I get tackled by Melinda, Sally, and Mary. The twins, Mary and Sally, tell me the same things at the same time with their freaky twin thing. Melinda smiles at me and asks, "Where'd you get that from?"

"I wrote it. It was just something that needed to be done and gotten out," I explain.

"How'd you play in those gloves? I mean the keys are slippery and you have the gloves on that make it even worse. How'd you do it?" Sally asks me very confused.

"I've practiced with them on. I knew I wouldn't be able to slide my fingers across the keys because then no sound would come out. I focused mostly on playing and only a bit on singin'. Since it's my song, no one would know if I messed up or not besides me."

Suddenly out of nowhere someone walks up behind me and hugs me. I freak for a second and then turn around to see Jake. I hug him and he says to me, "That was amazing Cassie. You have a wonderful talent."

"Thanks Jake. I was incredibly nervous though. I wasn't expecting you to be here though. Shouldn't you be with the team somewhere?" I ask him puzzled.

"Nah, some of the team came with me. They have nothing better to do so they came to see what exactly a chorus concert is like." Shrugging his shoulders he pretty much brushes the statement off his shoulders. I look to my right as I giggle and see three people I didn't expect to see. Sasha, Eliot, and Aimee come striding towards me. Jakes senses my tension and wraps his arm around my shoulder so if things get out of hand he can easily turn me away and we could leave.

"Congratulations Cassie," Sasha exclaims handing me a bouquet of coral roses. I smile at the bouquet seeing as they're my favorite flowers. I take them in my hands and smell them. Smiling at the aroma and the gesture I reply, "Thank you Sasha. But I thought I told you not to come."

"And you agreed that I could make that decision on my own now didn't you?" She retorts embracing me in a hug.

I laugh and say, "That's true I did." I look at Eliot who looked subtly confused.

"So what did you think honestly Sasha?" I ask her joyfully.

"I loved it Cassie. Your song was great," she replies smiling.

"I thought it was good," Aimee says plainly. I clench my teeth and refrain from saying anything to her.

"I thought it was wonderful. You were amazing Cassie," Eliot states. Aimee slightly hits him on the arm and looks at him. I know Aimee and that was her 'I'm unhappy you compliment her better than you do me and I'm jealous you said that' action.

"Well, I should be grabbing my things from the chorus room," I say to the crowd around me.

"Here, let me come help you," Aimee offers.

"Thanks but I don't think I'll need any help," I say pleasantly.

"Well I'll walk with you then. You never know when you might need help."

With that we walk down the hallway towards the chorus room. She walks beside me and as we enter the room she pulls me into the closest practice room. "What are you doing?" she asks me.

"What do you mean what am I doing? You're the one who pulled us into this practice room," I reply defensively.

"I mean what are you doing with Eliot? He's mine and every girl besides you understands that and just stays jealous of me."

"Aimee, you're not much of a girlfriend to him are you? You're only attracted to him because if you're dating him then you're popular. You don't even talk to him about things he likes to talk about do you? Do you even let him talk at all? Or do you just sit on his lap and make out?" I attack her venomously.

"How dare you criticize me and my actions with my boyfriend!" she yells at me.

"Aimee, I don't give a damn what you do with him. But I gotta say, you should be thanking me for tutoring him because if he wasn't getting tutored, he wouldn't have passed and then he wouldn't be on the football team next year. So I wouldn't mind a thank you instead of a screaming match," I reply icily.

She pushes me away and says, "You know what? I'm never going to thank you because you don't deserve it. You should be thanking me for letting you tutor him. Also, you should stay away from him if you know what's good for you." With that she opens the door and leaves me alone in the room.

I lean up against the wall and slide down to the floor. I start to cry because the girl I had known as my best friend in elementary school had totally disappeared and gave way into the witch I had just encountered. I cry until I remember I need to get out of the room and head home. I wipe my eyes with my gloves, lucky for me they're black and won't show anything really. I grab my purse and guitar and head out the back way. I walk along the sidewalk and at the corner I see someone standing there waiting for someone. As I walk nearer I make it out to be Jake. He meets me and says, "I got a little worried when you didn't come back out with Aimee. Sasha told me to tell you she had to leave so she could be with Eliot for a little bit. So, would you like to go do something?"

"Thanks Jake. I need to run this stuff to my house though. Wanna come with?" I ask him.

He nods and we start walking to my house to begin our night of fun.


	8. Chapter 8

The night after the concert was filled with food and fun. I was really glad that Eliot and Aimee weren't there though. I spend the next few days with Jake and we walk around town getting to really know one another. One day we walk to the car shop where Jake works during the summer to grab his paycheck. As we walk in I see someone fixing a beautiful Chevy Corvette. I walk over to admire the car and see that the mechanic is Eliot. I look at him confused and ask, "So you're good with cars too?"

He looks up at me, chuckles, and says, "Yeah I am I guess. I'm only in here when they don't have enough people."

"That would have been nice to know. I might have been able to make more comparisons with something you know other than football for biology," I say with a little laugh.

He laughs with me and I feel someone walk up behind me. "Well looks like you two are having fun," Jake says joyfully.

"Yeah, hey Cassie, do you want to meet me at Johnny Rocket's tonight?" He asks grabbing a rag and wiping the grease off his hands.

"I don't think so Eliot. I'm not goin' to risk another run-in with your girl. Plus I have a competition tonight." I reply cautiously.

"Oh, well then some other time then?" he replies.

"I don't know Eliot. I mean, I'm goin' to get in between you and your girl. I've already been in the middle and I'm sick bein' squished and pushed," I say quietly.

"What do you mean?" he asks me.

"I mean after every place we went you would always be with Aimee. After every competition you would go to her house. After every time we had a talk about things you would be seen with Aimee when you said you didn't want to be with her. Eliot I don't think I can trust you anymore. You say one thing to me and then go and do that opposite. Actions speak louder than words Eliot. You should know that from Sasha," I explain calmly. I look at Jake and say, "I have to go and get ready for the competition. I'll be at the gym practicing if you still want to talk."

Without another word I walk away and head to my house.

_**oOo**_

At the gym loading everyone onto the bus I see Eliot talking with Coach Miles. She walks with him to the bus and they both get on and I look out the window next to me. I pull out my embroidery and start working on it again. Eliot sits next to me and I don't pay attention to him, only concentrating on my embroidery. The picture starts taking on a three-dimensional feel since the thread makes the picture pouf up off the cloth. Looking at the design I can only hope that this will blanket still be around when I have kids or when someone I know has them. The embroidery design is that of a teddy bear holding a bunch of flowers in its hand under a tree.

"That looks cute. Who's it for?" Eliot asks me.

"No one in particular. I thought it was sweet so I'm embroidering it. Shouldn't you be with Aimee?"

"Cassie, I don't know what you think is going on between me and-"

"Oh don't play this with me. I saw you both the last day of finals, I saw you at the concert. She told me the truth and I'm not going to listen to this anymore. So please, just save it." I say coolly. He touches my arm and says, "Cassie, look, you're an amazing person and I'm glad you and I are friends. I don't think, no, I know I wouldn't have made it through biology without you. So please, talk to me."

"Eliot, I told you. I don't know if I can trust your words anymore. So, make it easier on us, and just don't talk to me like you did at school." I go back to my embroidery and ignore Eliot next to me.

_**oOo**_

A few more days go by and Eliot still comes to our competitions only he drives there himself with Jake. He still tries to talk to me and get me to talk with him. There's even a random bouquet of my favorite flowers sitting on my doorstep one day. I finally call him and he asks me to meet him at Johnny Rocket's at eight tonight.

I dress nicely in a nice long sleeved royal blue blouse and a short denim skirt with black high-heels. I put on a little bit of makeup and my silver mermaid pendant. I look in the mirror and make sure the scars from recent sessions aren't visible to others. Smiling at my reflection I sit in my living room and wait until seven thirty. When the clock strikes seven thirty I pick up my purse and start walking towards Johnny Rocket's and my meeting.

I walk out the door and head towards the predetermined meeting place. While walking I can't help but think that this is going to be the day I can tell Eliot the truth. There's just a little nagging voice that says something is going to go wrong here. I push that voice to the back of my mind and continue walking. As I near the restaurant I see the lights pouring through the windows onto the sidewalk.

I look in one of the windows and see Eliot leaning against the jukebox and arguing with Aimee. Lucky for me I taught myself how to read lips, so I read what they're saying to each other.

"Eliot why don't you come home with me? Why are you spending time with that loser? She's not worth any of your time," Aimee says to him.

"She's my friend and she's actually a nice girl. I spend time with her because it seems she doesn't have other friends and I feel sorry for her. Aimee, you're still my girl," Eliot says. With that he kisses her and she leaves happy. I debate walking away or going in and telling him what I think of him. I straighten my blouse, allow my expression to tell the truth the fact that I don't really want to be here. I sit in a booth and wait for Eliot to come and sit with me. The waiter comes and asks if I want anything and I reply, "No thank you. I don't intend to be here long. I'm just meeting someone." He walks away and Eliot comes and sits across from me. I take my hands off the table and say, "What do you want Spencer?"

He looks taken aback that I used his last name like I used to before we became close. "I wanted to spend time with you. You've been avoiding me and I wanted to see you. You're my friend."

"Some friend you are. You don't talk to me in school; you don't really talk to me outside of school unless we're alone; and you only care about your reputation and if you can't tell your jock friends that you've been with me then you don't want them to see you with me. I know you Spencer. I know all your jock friends."

He looked at me and asks me sincerely, "Cassie I'm sorry you feel that way. Can we please be friends again? I'll buy you a chocolate milk shake; I know they're your favorite and considering I made you a promise not to tell anyone about your secret I think I should be able to buy you them when I want." I look him in the eyes and say, "No amount of chocolate, words, or the like can make me trust you fully again. You have to prove that I can trust your words. I know I can't trust you Spencer. You've lied to me so many times that I'm not even sure I'll ever be able to trust you." And then he does that smile. That smile that has every girl who sees it swoon at the sight. I get lost in his blue eyes and that smile makes my heart flutter. Mentally slapping myself I get all notions out of my head that he's anything more to me. He then replies, "I'll show you that you can trust me."

"That's gonna be hard Spencer," I tell him quietly.

"I know, but I wanna keep you around," he says smiling at me. I smile slightly feeling like I'm actually important to someone. He orders us milkshakes and fries, knowing that I love both of them. One of the nights we went out and lay under the stars I admitted to loving sweet and salty things together. I could never pass up chocolate covered pretzels, milkshakes and fries, and things like that. The only thing I wouldn't eat was the old pregnant trick of pickles and ice cream. That just seems too odd. He made me a promise that he wouldn't tell anyone about my weird taste palate. He actually told me that it wasn't that weird and that most people like sweet and salty things together.

"So that's the reason chocolate covered pretzels keep popping up in the stores?" I replied sarcastically. We both laughed at that and we promised we wouldn't tell anyone about our talks.

When our order arrives Eliot looks at me and says, "I'm sorry Aimee threatened you. She's a little territorial."

"I know. She hated it when I'd borrow her dolls to play with when we were younger. She also had to have everything her way or else we couldn't play the game. I agreed most of the time but, I got sick of it our last year in elementary school. So she dropped me as a friend and I never talked with her much since then," I reply taking a fry and munching on it.

He laughs and I get butterflies in my stomach like I always do when he laughs or smiles at me. "Well, I'm really glad you decided to come and meet with me tonight. It's really nice to sit with you and talk again. I'm really glad you were my tutor."

"Yeah, I'm glad too," I say lying through my teeth and feeling the stitches of my heart start to pop.

"So, how's your dad?" He asks casually.

My head snaps up and looks at him, "He's fine. He's working a lot but I don't mind. I like being alone. It means I can do what I want and not worry about an argument." I stir my shake and take a sip of it.

"Well that's good. So when's the next competition? Jake and I saw your last one and it was amazing. You seriously deserved first place," Eliot confesses. He hangs his head a bit looking semi-ashamed of the confession.

"I don't know when the next one is. But you and Jake don't need to come. I know the next one's gonna be in Missouri. It's a long drive and you guys would have to get a hotel room. So, y'all don't need to come. I insist you don't come."

"But we enjoy coming and watching you perform. I mean if you were to perform something here we wouldn't have to drive all the way to see you do gymnastics." He looks at me and something in his eyes makes me feel warm inside.

"Spencer, I don't know what to say to you. Except that I don't want you wasting your money to come and see girls in skin tight leotards flyin' around, risking death or paralysis, and falling on their faces. So please, just stay here."

He looks at me a frown across his face. We finish our shakes and fries and Eliot calls the waiter for the check. I start to pull out my wallet and pay for my half but Eliot looks at me and says, "I invited you here. You don't pay anything."

I blush lightly and put my wallet back saying, "Thank you, for tonight. It's fun. But I still don't trust you fully."

"But you trust me a little don't you?" He pries out of me.

"A little bit more than I did before now," I reply coyly. I look out the window and see my father stumble past a window. He walks through the door and heads over to Eliot and me. My eyes widen and I close myself off from any conversation.


	9. Chapter 9

"Cassara," he slurs out. "Why are you out here with this, player boy, instead of bein' home cookin' where you belong?"

"I came to talk with Eliot Dad. He wanted to talk to me and you've said that I can't have people over at the house so I met him here," I reply solemnly.

"Well get your ass up out that chair and start walkin' home, sassy. I expect to be served a nice dinner when we get there." His hand clamps around my arm and he drags me out of the booth. I grab my purse in just enough time so it isn't left in the booth. I look at Eliot and say, "I've gotta be goin'. I'll talk to you later?"

"Oh no you won't missy. There'll be no more talkin' to this boy or any others. Now come on, move it." He pushes me forward and I walk obediently. He staggers around behind me and almost topples tables and chairs over from bumping into them and leaning on them to steady himself. I walk out of the restaurant and start walking home.

"Hey, Mr. Holmes," Eliot shouts from behind us.

My father rears around and watches Eliot approach us. "If you know what's good fer ya boy you'll just leave her alone."

"Eliot I'll be fine, just go," I say quickly, the fear only partially gone from my tone.

"Yeah listen to the witch. She knows what's good fer ya even if ya don't," My father retorts. Eliot walks up to him and hits him in the jaw. He grabs my arm and says, "Go, I'll catch up."

"Eliot you're just making him more mad!" I shout.

"Damn it boy, ya shoulda jus' gone an' done what she said," My dad straightens up and starts to move to punch Eliot. I get in the way, taking the blow to my shoulder. I fall to the ground and my dad pushes Eliot and says, "Go on boy, get outta here. Jus' leave well enough alone. Go on get."

I get up and push my dad away from Eliot and I hear the ring of the blade he used all the time. He drags the blade from my right hip up to my left shoulder, turns me around quick and cuts me from my right shoulder down my back to my left hip. I fall back to the ground and Eliot rushes to help me.

My dad forcefully grabs my hair and yanks it until I stand up. He looks at Eliot and says, "If you come any closer, I'll cut her throat and you'll have to blame yourself for her death."

My face was one of pure terror I could see from Eliot's expression. I mouth, 'Stay there. Please stay there.' And so he stayed planted where he was, clenching his fists in anger. My father laughs and grabs the hem of my shirt and yanks it so the rips in the shirt tore it apart. The fabric falls to the ground and my sleeves fall off my shoulders. I stand there, blood dripping down my stomach, my scars visible to anyone within viewing range. The one person I cared about could see my best kept secret and could now judge me. "See this? She's not pretty and she never will be. I've made sure of it. I've made sure she can't do to someone what her mother did. What do you think boy? Now run along boy, and don't say a word to anyone."

I watch Eliot's face turn from one of shock, to one of anger. I catch his eyes and mouth, "Please do as he says." He doesn't move and my dad puts the knife to my throat. Eliot steps forward a touch and says plainly, "I never thought she was pretty. I don't know where you got the conception that anyone would ever think she's pretty. But I just think she's a charity case. Go on; take her do what you want."

Tears well in my eyes as the words Eliot just said run through my mind. Every single shred of faith I put in him splintered and disintegrated. I hang my head and my dad drags me home.

_**oOo**_

After a few days of healing, I walk to the park, making sure my bandages won't come off. I bring a bag with a blanket, book, and an apple with me so I can have a nice relaxing day. I get to the park and lay my blanket out in a nice spot by some trees. I sit down and start to read _Pride and Prejudice_ in peace. About three chapters in I hear some yelling and some cheering. I look up and see the football team playing in the field with some cheerleaders watching and cheering. One of them over throws the ball and the person supposed to be catching it misses. The ball lands near me and one of the boys, named Bryce, comes over to get it.

"Hey Scar girl, you wanna get the ball for me? Or do I need to cut you to get you to do what I want?" He yells at me. "Come on, where's my meal Frankenstein? Didn't you bring anything for me? Get up and show me your scars. Want me to pull you by your hair, you like that don't you?"

He laughs at me and I stand up with my face set like stone. I close my book, marking the place and walk to him. I lift my book and slam it against his face sending him reeling from shock. "You can insult me all you want jarhead but honestly, I envy you. You live this blessed life where everything goes your way and you can smoke and drink all your memories away while me, I'll never be rid of the memories because they'll stay on my body. I'll always be reminded of my hell on earth. So be grateful that you'll never know what exactly I go through. And leave me the hell alone!"

"I'll teach you to mouth off to me you skank," he yells annoyed that I had responded so venomously. Bryce hits me across the face and I spin around a few times before falling to the ground a few feet away from where I had been standing. I close my eyes from the pain and try to get the world to stop spinning and making so many nauseatingly colorful designs in my head.

I open my eyes after a while to see blue circles above me. My eyes focus and I recognize them to be Eliot's eyes. He grabs my shoulder to help me up and I slap his hand.

"What's that for?" he says quickly.

"I don't need your help getting up. You've done enough _helping_ already. And now I'm gonna get it bad. He told you not to tell anyone Eliot and what do you do, you tell the entire team! Eliot, I'm gonna be dead when I get home. God I wish I hadn't met you that night then all of this would have been avoided. Damn me and my willingness to try and forgive people. That's it. I'm not trusting you ever again Eliot Spencer. I don't even want to see you again," I say tears of anger and hurt sliding down my face. Jake comes over and quickly says, "Eliot didn't tell us. We didn't see him until yesterday. Aimee told us the day after it happened. She said 'Guess what Eliot saw last night?' and then told us the whole thing. I'm so sorry that this happened to you Cassie."

The thought that automatically comes into my mind is that Eliot went and told Aimee and then she just couldn't keep it all bottled up inside so she told everyone. I stand up, wavering slightly and look at Jake. I walk to him and hug him saying, "Thanks Jake. Will you help me home?"

He smiles at me and quickly packs up my stuff. I turn and look at Eliot and say, "I told you that you'd have to earn my trust back. You've crushed it even more. You told Aimee what happened to me and considering what you said to me that night, I don't know what to think anymore. Eliot just step away from me. Walk away, I don't want to see your face again. Goodbye and Good Riddance." I start walking towards the exit to the park leaving Eliot standing there like a statue. Jake hands me my book and tears stream down my face. I love that boy no matter what happens and that would be my undoing.


	10. Chapter 10

I walk home, Jake supporting me a little and see a note on the front door that says, "Get inside and pack your things. Pack everything you own, there are boxes in the hallway. I want it all done when I get home." I crumble the note before Jake can see it.

"Thanks Jake, you've been a great help. But I think I can take care of everything from here. I don't think I'll be going outside anymore so I don't think I'll see you again. But I want you to know, I appreciate you walking me home."

He smiles at me and I feel my heart do something funny. My stomach sinks a little but I lean into him and hug him with all the strength I can muster. He releases me and says, "Be careful. If you want to do anything call me and I'll go with you no matter what it is so no one can hurt you."

I smile and a few tears slide down my cheek. "Thanks Jake. You don't know how much that means to me."

"Well, bye," he says as I walk into my house. I close the door after waving to him. I drop my bag in the hallway and start packing up the boxes outside of my door with all of my clothes and my little knick-knacks. My makeup and other bathroom things goes in one box and my shoes and scarves go into another. Everything I own is packed into boxes and I start packing up our movies and things from other rooms in the house. I leave my dad's things alone so he can't blame me for misplacing something. I head into the kitchen and pack containers with our dishes and silverware. I wrap the china in bubble wrap so it doesn't break and place it gently in its own box. I look at the clock and figure dad will be home soon and I pick up the phone to order pizza since all the dishes are packed.

I order our usual and I place my wallet next to the door on the edge of the couch. I look at the office door and shudder telling myself _I'm not going in there when I'm not dragged. He can pack up that room of doom._ I walk back into the other room and watch TV thinking that everything that isn't in my dad's room or the office is packed. Dad comes through the door and slams it behind him.

"So, what's for dinner?" He asks me gruffly.

"I ordered pizza. I packed everything away like you asked me too. I finished my room and decided I'd pack other things. I didn't pack your room or the office," I say standing in front of the couch looking at him. He looks at me, smirks, and walks back to his room. I sit back down on the couch only to be startled by the doorbell. I arrange my hair to hide my face where Bryce's bruise was starting to show. I open the door, and pay the delivery boy telling him to keep the change. He walks away and I shut the door behind him saying, "Dad, the pizza's here." I walk into the kitchen and place the pizzas on the counter.

He comes out of his room, grabs a paper plate, and grabs a few slices of pizza. I wait for him to head back into his room before I grab a couple slices for myself. I walk to the fridge and grab Ranch dressing to dip my pizza in. Dad thought I was weird because I did that and it always reminded him of mom. After eating my pizza I walk into my room and strip the bed of its sheets and pack them into a box that's half empty. I keep a couple of blankets out so I can sleep on the couch tonight.

I wake up in the morning and finish packing. Dad gets a U-haul trailer to attach to his truck. He stays in his room and eats the left over pizza throughout the day like I do. I tell my dad that I'm going for a walk around sunset. He doesn't answer me so I just walk out the door and head towards the Johnny Rocket's. I walk to the pay phone on the corner in front of the building and look in the yellow pages for the number for the restaurant. I look in the window and see Eliot there with his friends, laughing and such. Eliot doesn't laugh with them long though. He gets up and leaves his friends. I dial the number to the restaurant and Keith picks up the phone. "Hey Keith, can you hand the phone to Eliot Spencer please?" I say into the phone. I knew he would because so many people called there asking the person to tell members of their party would be late. Keith says, "Sure just hang on Cassie." The phone gets set down and I hear Keith call Eliot.

Eliot picks up the phone and says confusedly, "Hello?"

"Eliot, I want to tell you, I'm leaving. Tell Aimee she wins and that she doesn't have anyone to worry about now."

"Cassie, what are you saying? You told me you didn't want to see my face and you're callin' me?"

"Exactly. I'm not lookin' at you and it makes it easier. Just tell Aimee she wins and I hope you two have a wonderful life together."

"Cassie," he says, desperation and confusion present in his tone. "Move in with me. Sasha and I can help you. I promise."  
"Eliot I don't trust what you're sayin' and I probably never will. I'm not goin' to drag you and Sasha into my mess. I've dealt with it for years and I can take care of myself. Goodbye Eliot, maybe we'll see each other again someday, and then we can try our late night talks again. But for now, I hope you have a happy life. Goodbye Eliot," I say as tears stream down my face. I hang up the phone and it falls out of my hands. I know it was the right thing to do, and that he wouldn't understand. I walk out of the booth and start to jog down the sidewalk away from the building. As I get to the hill I hear Eliot shout, "CASSIE!" I turn around and look at him standing in front of the restaurant. Tears flow steadily down my face as I turn my back on him. I feel my heart break as the realization hits me that I'm walking away from the man that I will always love, no matter what he does to me.

I wake up in the morning to my dad shaking me saying, "Get up we're loading up the truck." I get up and fold the blankets. I quickly change my clothes, brush my teeth and my hair, and then help dad load the boxes into the back of a U-haul trailer. The morning light only slightly glimmers and I notice the time is four o'clock in the morning. I continue loading the boxes in until there are no more boxes to load. Dad gets into the driver's seat and we start driving out of the city. I don't say a word as we drive for the thirteen hours it takes to get to where we're going. Dad gets a hotel and we stay the night in room and the next day dad goes in search of a house for us. I look out the window and see the sights of the city. Room service comes in and she cleans the room while I sit in a chair and read.

"That's a big book you've got there sweetheart," the lady says to me kindly.

"I know, but it gives me somethin' to do. I've read it twice now. This trip's been really long. I don't mean to sound out of place but, where am I?"

She laughs and says, "You're in Baltimore, Maryland dear. I guess you didn't pay attention to the signs since you were reading."

"Thank you ma'am," I reply quietly. She laughs and continues her cleaning. She finishes up the room and leaves. Dad comes back in later that day and says, "I bought us a house here."

"Ok. I'll make arrangements and such for me to be able to go to school in the fall ok?" I reply quietly.

"Good, now here's some dinner. Tomorrow you make those arrangements," he says, placing a bag of food on the table. I wait until he walks into the bathroom before I get up. I open the bag and see a burger and French fries. I grab a glass from the cabinet and fill it with water before I sit down at the table and start eating. My dad comes out and goes to his bed and shuts the door. I sleep on the fold out couch in the sitting area and look out the window wishing I could have a nice way out.


	11. Chapter 11

After two months of getting settled and moving in, Dad and I are back on a routine. He isn't as bad with the cutting me, now that we've moved away from the place that holds the memories. But that makes it harder on me. At least with him doing it often I was starting to become desensitized to pain and blood. But things had to change. I start school in September and I look around my homeroom and see a very familiar face. I listen to the teacher as she says, "Today class you are going to meet with each other. I want to hear your name, a nick-name you go by, something interesting, and what you want to be when you graduate."

Every person goes around in a circle and when it's my turn is say, "My name is Cassara Holmes. My friends call me Cassie, I moved here from the heartland and I'm a gymnast. I would like to own my own bakery café when I get my degree. I guess that's all." Everyone smiles at me and the circle continues until it reaches the familiar person. "My name is Jacob Travers. My friends call me Jake, I moved here from the same town Cassie came from and I play football. I want to go into the armed forces when I graduate." The teacher looks from Jake to me and say, "Well, you two are just sweet. It's nice to have someone you already know in the school isn't it? Well class, that's all I want to do today besides go over the syllabus." She stands up and we listen to her talk about the class we would start off with. The bell rings and we switch classes. Jake walks me to my next class which just happens to be his. All the teachers do the same thing that homeroom did. At the end of the day Jake walks me home and we have fun catching up.

"Well thanks for walkin' me home Jake," I say hugging my books to me.

"I thought you were walkin' me home," he says confused.

"I live right here Jake." I say pointing to the house beside me.

He laughs and says, "Of course, we had to pick the house right next to yours. We're neighbors Cassie. And once I get my car I can drive you to school."

I laugh and say, "That'll be awesome Jake. I'm excited now." I hug him and kiss him on the cheek. He blushes and so do I. "Well I'd better be heading inside now. I need to make dinner."

Jake stands there and says, "Sure. I'll see you tomorrow."

I walk into my house and sigh. Smiling to myself I turn on the radio and listen to music while I clean the house and cook dinner for my dad and I. I look out the window and see Jake sitting in his back yard and reading his book. I smile even wider and think, _Jake seems really nice. Maybe I should try asking him out. I think he'd say yes._

_**oOo**_

After a few months Jake and I have become a couple. We hide it from my dad because I didn't want to move again. Jake tells me he's had a crush on me since we were in middle school. That boy always knows how to make me feel good. He's taking classes at the recreation center for first aid and so I'm his practice dummy. When my dad cuts me deep I bandage it up until I can see Jake. He sutures me up which makes me queasy whenever I watch. We date for the last two years of high school and everyone votes us cutest couple in our senior year. Graduation is rounding the corner and is so close I can taste it and it tastes like freedom.

I sit by myself on the porch waiting for Jake to come back from the recruiters. He drives into his driveway and hops out of the driver's side. I run to him and ask, "Well, what's the verdict?"

He looks me dead in the eye and says, "Two weeks after graduation I'm heading to boot camp." I jump into his arms and hold him close.

"Jake I knew it! I just knew they'd take you! I'm so happy for you. My daddy's gonna be gone until after graduation so why don't I make dinner for you?" I say happily.

"Sure dear," he kisses me and I smile. "But let me tell my parents ok? They love you so they'll be fine lettin' me have dinner with you."

"Wonderful," I reply as he leans down to kiss me again. He then walks to his front door and I walk into my house and start dinner. I make chicken parmesan knowing that it's his favorite. I set the table with mom's china, silver, and crystal. The red table cloth spread over the wooden table makes the room seem elegant. I place two candles into the silver holders and place them in the middle of the table. I toss a salad together quickly and then go change into a nice dress. Jake hates it when I wear sleeves when I'm with him alone so I put on a nice strapless dress that hugs my curves. I pull my hair up into a messy bun and put on some earrings to complement the green dress.

There's a knock on the door and I answer it looking at Jake in a nice shirt and slacks. I smile and say, "Dinner's almost ready. I'm just waiting for the pasta to be done and for the chicken to be cooked all the way through." He steps in and kisses me.

"You know I love you Cassie." he says to me quietly. I look into his big, green eyes and say, "Of course I know. And you know that I love you as well."

He smiles and hugs me. I hug him back and I lead him into the kitchen. He looks at the table and laughs. "You did all of this in an hour and thirty minutes? I'm impressed dear."

I laugh and say, "What, did you think I couldn't?" He leans down and kisses my forehead and says, "I believe you can do anything you want to."

I run my fingers through his silky blonde hair and say, "The same goes for you. I believe in you Jake, but you better be safe while you're away from me." I walk over to the stove where the meal was cooking and check everything. Seeing the chicken done through, the pasta al dente, and the sauce warmed through, I grab the plates and start serving. Jake takes the salad bowl and places it on the table. I bring over the plates of food and set one down at each place. Jake pulls my chair out and I sit in it. He gently pushes me back in and then sits in his own. I had a bottle of sparkling grape juice on the table along with a pitcher of tea and one of water. I pour myself some water while Jake pours some tea. We bless ourselves and say grace before eating, thanking God for everything he has given us. Jake had started taking me to mass with him on the morning on Sundays. And I was confirmed last year with Jake. They had accelerated my training so I could be confirmed with him.

We eat dinner and Jake seems really nervous throughout the night. "Jake what's wrong? Is everything ok? Did I forget anything?" I ask a little panicky.

"Oh no you didn't forget anything Cassie. It's just I want to ask you something but I don't know how to ask it."

"Just come right out and ask me. It's the best way to get anything done," I reply sweetly.

"Ok then. Cassie, I've told you that I love you a thousand times over and I want to prove it to you." He gets out of his chair, walks over to my side, and kneels on one knee. I gasp as he continues, "Cassie, I want to be with you forever. I've been with you so long already but I know we can be perfect together. So, Cassie Holmes, will you marry me?"

He opens a little black box and shows me a beautiful solitaire diamond on a yellow gold band. On the diamond is etched a tiny cross that casts a shadow down into the stone. He produces a long gold chain and says, "If you say yes, I got this so we can keep it from your dad." Tears well in my eyes and I get down on the floor, take his hands and say, "Yes Jake, I'll marry you." He smiles and kisses me. I throw my arms around his neck and he picks me up twirling around. "I'm so glad you said yes Cassie. I'm so happy right now I can't put words to it."

"I know how you feel, trust me I do," I say smiling. But in the depths of my heart I knew I was lying to myself.


	12. Chapter 12

Jake went off to boot camp after graduation and he writes me letters every week. He then gets deployed for his first tour and I wait for him to come home. I start my first year of college classes and hide the engagement from my father the entire time. I sit in my living room doing my homework and I hear a knock on the door. I get up to answer it and see a woman I have no real memory of and only know her face from photos in my room.

"Cassie?" she says to me. I look at her perplexed and she quickly says, "Cassie it's me, your mother."

I look at her and say, "I know it's you. I know your face from the pictures in my room. I thought you were dead mom." Tears start to flow down my face as I look into the familiar tanzanite eyes. She hugs me and we both start to cry. I invite her in and notice she's brought a friend.

"Sophie, Sophie Devereaux," the woman says to me in a British accent.

"It's nice to meet you. Can I get you anything?" I ask her.

"I'll take some tea if you don't mind," she says to me. I walk into the kitchen and heat up the kettle. Mom sits in the living room watching me work. Once the kettle is ready I place tea bags into the cups I have set out and pour the hot water over the bags. I place a spoon in each one allowing the tea to steep faster. Once it turns a nice dark color I remove the spoon and the bag from each cup. I place the cups on a tray with cream and sugar and bring the tray into my guests.

I set the tray on the coffee table sitting between an armchair and the couch and say, "Mom I know you're not back for a visit. You wouldn't be this tense if you were." She looks at me and says, "So you remember what I taught you when you were younger. Very good. Now that you've found the point I'll elaborate on it. You're correct, Sophie and I aren't here for a visit. We're here to finish something I was doing nineteen years ago."

I look at her and do the math in my head. "Yes dear, you're nineteen I know. You were a product of what I was supposed to be doing."

"Dad has something to do with this? What's going on?" I say panicking.

"Shush dear, I'll explain," my mother says to me calmly. I sit back in my chair with my cup of tea and listen to my mother. "Well dear, I'm not your ordinary person. I'm a thief and that's my job. Twenty years ago I was working a con on the Russian arms dealers when I met your father. He was a whistle blower, or so I thought. He turned out to be one of the higher-ups and I couldn't pass it up. I had to insinuate myself into his life and make myself seem normal. He believed me and we got into a relationship. I tried to get him to take me to his job but he'd only take me to the front company where he worked. We got married and had you. Finally one of his friends figured out I am a grifter and that my plan was to inform the F.B.I. of your father, Alastair Artemiev's, business. I had to leave as soon as they found out and I couldn't take you with me because you would be in danger no matter where we went. Cassie now I'm back to finish what I started. Your father needs to be dealt with and I know he still has ties to the company."

"We know it because we looked at the accounts that paid for this house and none of them were clean. The bank was dirty," Sophie chimes in.

"So are you asking me to help you take down the only family I've known for my life? Granted he wasn't that good but he's still my dad and I don't care what he does. You can't just come up in here and expect me to help you deal with dad. Not after thirteen years of you being gone and not even a phone call or letter," I say furiously, standing up out of my chair.

"Cassie I'm not asking you to help I'm asking you to leave the house. I'm askin-"

"Cassie who's here?" My dad says as he walks through the front door.

"Just some traveling religious people. I invited them in to listen to them," I lie.

"Normally those people come on bicycles. So why are they in a car?" He asks me advancing.

"I, I, I don't know. Maybe they're getting with the times?" I say cringing away from him.

"You're lying to me girl. Now you had best start telling me the truth," he says pulling out his blade.

"Daddy I'm sorry," I say as he hits me across the face and then swipes the blade across my stomach.

"Alastair you leave that girl alone," My mother says furiously.

"Alexandra, I should have known it would be you she's protecting," he says snidely, slipping into a Russian accent.

"You're damn right it is. Now if you have something you want to say to me say it," she says walking towards him.

"All right, I'll say it. Draw," he says pulling a gun out of his jacket pocket. He fires at her without even giving her time to defend herself.

"MOM!" I scream.

"You shut your mouth!" He yells at me kicking my shoulder. I stand up and act instinctively. I kick his hand that holds the gun before he can shoot someone else. And I dodge the knife as he swings it wildly. I back into the kitchen moving so I could grab a knife from the set. He swings at me and I duck, finally reaching my destination. I grab a large knife from the set and hold it tightly in my hands.

My dad laughs at me and says, "You don't know how to handle that thing. Now just be a good girl and hand me the knife so it'll be easier to kill you." I swing the knife catching him on the arm. He screams in pain and I draw the knife from his collarbone across his chest to his hip and say, "Now, we're almost twins. Only about seventy thousand more strokes to go." I kick the knife away from him as I look outside and see Mr. Travers outside my house. Sophie grabs me by the shoulders and takes me outside just as a police car shows up and an ambulance behind that. The officer comes to me and I say, "Officer, my dad attacked me."

"Ok miss. Can you sit here for a minute? My name is Detective Morris, I'd like to ask you some questions," the officer says.

"Yes sir," I reply trembling.

Sophie walks to another officer and gives her statement. EMT's walk past me into the house.

"Miss what happened?" the officer asks me.

"Well, I was serving tea to my mother and her friend who had come back from travelin' and my dad comes in and is angry. He's been like that many times before and has taken his anger out on me all the time. He sees my mom and he kills her after kickin' me. I saw him shoot her dead and I got up and defended myself 'cause I knew I was next. I kicked the gun outta his hand and then fought him with knives. I know my way around a knife sir, only reason is 'cause he used 'em on me so many times. Officer am I in trouble?" I ask him with tears welling in my eyes.

"No you're not in trouble. It was self defense and you saved another person's life," the detective says to me.

Two policemen had walked past me into the house and the EMT's come back out with one policeman and my dad handcuffed to the stretcher. "You lying witch, After everythin' I did for you, you do this to me? You're nothing Cassie, you'll always regret this and I'll make sure of it! I'll make you pay!" He shouts as they roll him away. I start crying and the officer asks me, "Has your dad ever hurt you before?"

I nod and say, "He's been cutting me since I was six. See?" I roll up my sleeve and show the officer what my dad did to me.

The officer says, "I'm sorry that happened to you. What is your name dear?"

"Cassara Alexandra Holmes," I recite to the officer. "I'm nineteen years old and I'm currently in college."

"Thank you Ms. Holmes. If you have any trouble call this number," he says holding out his card. I take the card in my hands and nod to the detective. He stands up and starts to walk away. "Ms. Holmes do you have somewhere to stay?"

"I can stay with my neighbors. Their son is my fiancé," I reply to him. He nods and continues walking towards his car. Sophie walks back to me and sits next to me.

"Are you all right dear?" she asks me, her accent calming me down.

"Not really, I just attacked my father and saw him shoot my mother. That kinda thin' does stuff to people Ms. Devereaux," I reply candidly.

"Please, call me Sophie," she replies cordially.

"Ok then Sophie, so what now? Mom's job is done and- Oh my gosh! Mom!" I jump up and run into the house where I am stopped by the officer that had stayed behind.

"Miss you can't come in here. It's an active crime scene," he says to me.

"Let go of me you scoundrel that's my mother! Let go of me!" I shout.

The officer moves me out of the way so the coroner can get through and into the house. Detective Morris walks in behind them and looks at me. "Ms. Holmes you can't come in now or else you might contaminate evidence. Speaking of I need your clothes to test your account of what happened."

I look at him with daggers coming out of my eyes. "You tell me I can't go in there and say good bye to my mother and you expect me to give you my clothes? Your logic is severely flawed sir. If I can't get new clothes then I'm not giving you the ones off my back. Do you understand me?"

"Clear as rain miss. I'll bring down something for you out of your room. Where is it and where are your clothes?"

"In the dresser, second drawer from the bottom are my shorts, the drawer next to it are my shirts. My room is up the stairs and to the left, it's turquoise."

He nods at me and goes into the coroner. Sophie comes and takes me by the shoulders saying, "Let's let the medic's check you out dear." She guides me to the ambulance and I sit on the back while the people look at me, bandaging what they need to, giving me ice and a shot of morphine for the pain I'd experience. They want to take me to the hospital to be fully checked out but I tell them I'm fine. They insist and I say I'll go.

Looking at Sophie whose face is panic stricken I ask, "Will you bring the clothes Detective Morris is bringing out to the hospital?"

She nods and says, "Of course I will. Now you be good."

The EMT's close the doors to the ambulance and they drive away as I slip into a nice sleep from the morphine.


	13. Chapter 13

I wake up in a white room and start to panic. Then I remember the events that happened. I start to cry remembering I had only seen my mother for about fifteen minutes before she was taken from me for good. I look around me and see Jake in his camouflage and his parents sitting next to him. I sit up slightly and they stir looking at me.

"Cassie, are you all right?" Jake asks me worried.

"I'm ok. I slept really well though. What are you doing back? Aren't you supposed to be in boot camp?" I ask lazily, the morphine still in my system.

"I graduated the day this all happened and when my parents told me you were in here I came right over. Cassie you've been out for a few days."

Jake takes my hand and looks at me with relief all over his face. I look at him and say, "I like a man in uniform."

He smiles and says, "You shouldn't be making jokes now. You need to rest and get better."

"Ok, Jake. I'll do as you ask," I say drifting back into sleep. I dream a fairytale where the prince comes and saves the princess from the torture that she was brought into.

I wake up a while later to see Jake and his parents gone and Sophie there replacing them. I sit up and she hands me a bag of things. "I grabbed your embroidery so you'd have something to do. This pillow case looks darling."

I smile at her and she hands me a cup of water. "Where's Jake?"

"He had to go. He got his orders to be deployed. He was hoping they would allow him to wait until you got out of the hospital but they wouldn't. He left this for you though," she explains holding out an envelope.

I open it and read,

Dearest Cassie,

You're still in the hospital right now since you're reading this. I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you fully wake up but I got my orders that I had to leave. But don't worry, I'll write letters every single day and tell you about the men I'm serving with like I promised. I hope you feel better soon and I'll be back and we can set our wedding day.

Sending All My Love,

Jake

I smile and say, "So when am I getting out of here?"

Sophie looks at me and says, "You've progressed well and they just want to keep you for another day. To make sure you're fine. Oh, the detective said I had to sign these so I can sign you out. They only sign patients out to family and since your mom left me as your guardian in her will I'm now you're primary caregiver. Just so you know."

I smile and say, "Well I just keep getting hit with shocks don't I?"

"Very true dear. Well I'm going to head out and leave you to heal," Sophie says as she backs out of the hospital room.

I wave at her and then start on my embroidery. I embroider until dinner and the nurse comes in and hands me my dinner. I eat it grimacing at the unpleasant taste. But I know I have to eat it to prove I can get out of the hospital. After dinner I finish my pillow case and the doctor comes by and checks on me. He says my vitals are good and that I'll be able to leave in the morning.

I smile at him and roll over to sleep.

The next morning Sophie comes in with clothes for me to change into so we can leave. The nurse pushes me out in a wheelchair to Sophie's car. I thank her and get into the sleek, shiny, black car. Sophie drives back to my house and says, "Jake's parents cleaned everything for you so you wouldn't have to. They want you to know that you're welcome over there if you start to feel upset."

"You're not staying then?" I ask quietly.

"No, I need to go and work. I'm in the same business as your mom so I'll be traveling. But I'll stay in touch. I promise."

Sophie pulls into my driveway and hands me a manila envelope. "These are your things. They took them off at the hospital and gave them to me. Everything is there that was on you except the clothes, the police took those as soon as they were off you I guess."

I lean over and hug the British woman saying, "Thank you Sophie."

She smiles and I get out of the car. Walking up to the empty house I remember the horror that happened here. I take my keys out of the manila envelope Sophie handed me and unlock the front door. Opening it I see the clean carpets and walls. I set my things on the side table and stand in the foyer. I look into the living room and see everything the way it last was. The tray of tea was moved into the kitchen and the blood had been cleaned up but everything looks normal now. I move into the kitchen and make something easy to eat. I sit in my room eating my food and I look around the colorful walls.

I feel at ease with no worrying about dad coming home and hurting me anymore. I feel angry because he killed my mother. Sadness wells in my heart because I would never know my mother really. I get off my bed and head back down into the kitchen. The doorbell rings and I open it to see a group of friends from college at the door. Friends from all of my classes had gotten together to make a meal for me and comfort me. I smile and let them in. They make themselves at home, putting the food in the kitchen and putting music in the stereo. They console me and we talk. They catch me up on what I've missed from being in the hospital and work with me on being ok with everything that's happened. We stay up late and have a blast at the expense of my mother.

_**oOo**_

I walk into the cemetery and walk to my mother's plot. The granite marker looks so clean and neat standing there. I kneel down in the grass and place the bouquet of lilies on her grave. I sit there for a while and then I stand up. It's been two months since I buried her. Her grave marker reads,

"Alexandra Holmes

A Memory that will never fade

April 16, 1953-October 7 1994"

I walk away from the marker and head back home. I look in the mailbox and see a bunch of letters from Jake in a bundle. I take them inside and read them each. The most recent one catches my eyes and it reads,

December 2nd,1994

Cassie,

You'll never guess who is serving with me. I didn't until I read the dog tags. It's my old friend Eliot Spencer. I haven't seen him in ages! Cassie it's wonderful to see him again. I hope everything is going ok with you. I miss you dear and I hope you're excited for our wedding! I know I am. I keep your picture with me at all times.

Sending all My Love,

Jake

P.S. I've enclosed a picture so you can see Eliot and me.

I look at the picture and see the familiar face looking up at me. My two boys were together again. Instantly I sit down and pull out stationery to start writing to him.

December 7th, 1994

Jake,

I'm so glad you're doing well and I love reading the letters you send me. It keeps me going. I'm really glad you and Eliot are together. You two had better take care of one another. If you get hurt I know full well who to blame. Anyway, I visited my mom today and I told her about you and asked her to watch over you. I've been going to mass with your parents and I started volunteering with the kids. They love it and they tell me to write you that they say hi and they want you to come home soon so they can see me in a white dress. Classes are going well I'm going to get an academic achievement soon. I miss you so much Jake. I've been looking at your photo every day and your parents are looking out for me. Jake come home in one piece please. Be safe and fulfill all your duties.

Holding You In My Heart Always,

Cassie

P.S. Please say hi to Eliot for me. Well, try. Oh! And if you need anything, any of y'all send me a list and I'll send your things to y'all.

I fold the paper and put it into an envelope and seal it. I address it and place the correct number of stamps on it. I put it in my mailbox and wait for the postman to come tomorrow and for it to be sent to him.


	14. Chapter 14

The spring semester is drawing to a close and I still don't know when Jake is coming home. My finals are all easy and I breeze through them. After my last one I think of Jake and all the things I've sent to him in care packages. He would be set for a while. Each of his letters to me got more romantic almost like he wished he wasn't in the military. He loves being with his friend though and I know that those two might not have met each other again if not for the army.

I walk into the martial arts academy and head to the locker room. I change into the traditional garb and tie my black belt around my waist for my karate lessons. I set my foil up in my locker and my mask down on the floor. Sophie gives me money every month to renew this whole thing. I progressed really fast in these arts possibly because I have so much pent up rage inside me from what my father did to me but no one can understand it. I've only taken karate, and I'm working on getting my highest degree black belt. Later I'll work on fencing and hand to hand combat with different weapons. The instructors are all impressed with me and I enjoy getting active and finding ways to protect myself. I will never be defenseless and helpless again.

I go out into the mat room, sit in a corner, and mediate. I close my eyes and focus on calming myself down and I hear footsteps moving towards me. I roll to the side with my eyes still closed dodging the attack. I open my eyes and block the kick delivered to me. I land a kick to the assailant in their shoulder. They come at me again and I do a back handspring to avoid them and get behind them. I kick their lower back and they try to sweep my feet out from under me. They stand up and I punch them aiming for the solar plexus. They catch my punch and turn me away. While turning me I lift my leg and extend it with enough force and at the right time to hit the solar plexus. My assailant falls to the ground unable to breathe fully. I use my foot to roll the person onto their back and I see my teacher lying there on the floor. I gasp and bow to him.

"You've progressed well," he wheezes out. I smile at him and reply, "Thank you sensei."

He gets up off the floor and says, "Perhaps I won't teach you anything today. You've learned what you need. You should work on fencing and other combat art." I smile and bow to him. I back away from him and back into the locker room. These teachers were all private and they were paid to train me personally, one-on-one so I could advance and continue sparring with them even when they thought I had it mastered. I change my garb into that of the padded outfit for fencing. I pull out my foil and once again walk out to the mat room. I have a leotard under my outfit for the off chance Sam decides to work without the padding.

He walks in and sees me practicing. Sam walks up behind me and automatically starts fencing against me. He gets me twice but I get him three times. We practice and fine tune my motions. He tells me to delve into my gymnast past and use the grace in fencing. I do as instructed and he notices my improvement. He tells me to remove the padding and we'll try it for real. I remove the padding and we start to fence for real. We get very close to one another but don't touch each other with the foils. We work until we're tired and I say, "I give! Can we call it a day and I'll see you in two days?" He pants out his answer and I walk into the locker room, dragging my padded suit with me. I slip on a pair of sweatpants over my leotard and pack my bag.

I walk out of the academy and drive home. I grab my bag and walk inside my house. I can tell something is out of place but I'm not sure what. I keep my guard up as I set my bag down next to the door. I round the corner into the living room and don't see anyone. Suddenly someone comes behind me and covers my eyes, I struggle against my assailant while they whisper in my ear, "Guess who?"

I stop fighting and I gasp, "Jake?" He uncovers my eyes and I turn around to hug him. We hold each other for a long time and I cry that he's home safe. "I got every single letter and I wrote back. Did you get my letters? And my care packages?"

He laughs and says, "Of course I got your letters and your care packages. The boys really appreciate everything you sent us." He smiles at me and says, "What were you doing?"

I blush and say, "Oh, I've been taking college classes and well I've been taking self defense as well. Sorry you get to see me all icky, sticky, and smelly." I pluck at my leotard and he puts his hand behind my head to pull me to him. He kisses me sweetly and I slowly melt into his kiss.

"I've waited a long time to do that," he says dreamily.

"I've waited as well. I'll go and start something for dinner if you want," I say quickly heading towards the kitchen.

"Nah, let's go out. Let's celebrate," Jake says joyfully. I let him celebrate and we get ready to go out to dinner.

_**oOo**_

I have Jake for a few months and we plan our wedding. We set it for a date we cleared for him to come home and then leave again if he had to. His commanding officer cleared it and all the steps were taken so we could do this. I grab a few girls and we go out dress hunting for me. I find a beautiful dress that's pure white and has a ball gown feel. The neckline is a square neck and it has lace cap sleeves. The lace extends all over the gown giving it a feeling of elegance and delicacy. The veil is the one my mother wore on her wedding day. I had found it in one of the boxes in our attic that was never opened. Our wedding was going to be in July so I knew I had to make preparations fast.

I write Jake every chance I get and tell him about the preparations for the wedding. He writes back to me and tells me what's going on over where he is stationed. He's antsy and wants to come home to me I know it. I keep myself going to school and my martial arts classes because I want Jake to come home to another academic achievement from me. He writes me letters all the time apologizing for not being there while I plan our wedding. I always tell him that I'll wait forever if I have to. I start getting bored so I start working in my mother's field and find I'm pretty good at it. I start out small with Sophie's help creating aliases and getting into larger cons. I never breathe a word of it to Jake because I know he'd disapprove. When he gets back I'll drop out of the life forever and get a normal job. I always read Jakes letters and love the fact that he sends pictures to me. He sends me one a week after my birthday saying,

June 30th, 1995

Happy Birthday Cassie!

You're twenty today! I wanted to be there and get you a wonderful gift but I'm over here and all I can do is think about you. Here's the guys wishing you a happy birthday! Only a few more weeks until we're married and you're Mrs. Jacob Travers.

Sending All My Love,

Jake

P.S. Just so you know, I'm trying to find a way to ask Eliot to take care of you and tell you what happens if I go before he does. I hope I can find the right words soon. I've already requested it with our C.O. Don't worry, I've got you covered.

I look at the photo and see Eliot and Jake next to one another. The rest of the guys all smile at me from the photo and I see a few girls there. My guess is that they're either local girls helping out or they're nurses. I smile and write him back telling him I received the photo and to tell the boys thank you. I send it off immediately and lock the letter and the photo into a lock box where I keep everything important to me.

One week after receiving the letter, when Jake is supposed to be home I hear the door bell ring. Confused I open the door and see two men in uniform standing at my door. I cover my mouth as I gape at them. "No, no, no you have the wrong house. No, this can't be. No!" I start to cry holding the letter Jake had written to me close to my chest. I back up to the wall underneath the stairs and slide down to the floor sobbing. The officers step into my house and tell me, "Ma'am we're sorry for your loss. If you need anything call this number and they'll help you." He hands me a card and I just hold out my hand to grab it. I let it fall to the floor sobbing my eyes out.

"Your husband will be given a full military funeral and will be interred at Arlington National Cemetery ma'am. You should be proud of him. We are all sorry that a genuine hero was lost as a cost of this war."

"Thank you gentlemen," I say through sobs. One of the men hands me the box of tissues and I take them from him nodding. "Can you tell me what happened to him?"

"I'm sorry ma'am we cannot. We don't know what happened ourselves," One of them answers.

The officers walk me through what would happen and I agree to everything and as soon as I've accepted everything they leave me alone and I walk over to Jakes parents house and tell them the news. We comfort each other and then set arrangements to go to Arlington National Cemetery in two weeks.


End file.
